|This file of unknown origin was sent to me by
somebody long ago and has been stored on my hard disk since that time. Its
original name has been forgotten and I only remember it was rather ugly. If
anybody has any information about the authors please let me know. I'd like
to make a reference to them. They deserve it.
The European Commission have just announced an agreement whereby English will
be the official language of the EU, rather than German, which was the other
possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's government conceded that
English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five year
phase in plan that would be known as "EuroEnglish".
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will
make the sivil servants jump for joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of
the "k". This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have 1 less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with the "f". This will make words like "fotograf"
20% shorter. In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan
be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a
deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the
silent "e"s in the language is disgraseful, and they should go away. By the
4th year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and
"w" with "v". During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from
vords kontaining "ou" and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer
kombinations of leters. After zis fifz year, ve vil hav a realy sensibl riten
styl. zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi to
understand each ozer
ZE DREAM VIL FINALI KUM TRU!
Last-modified: Mon, 26-May-97 06:03:09 GMT